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Today my age is 42

And I don’t mind at all, I really don’t. It’s just that this is about the age when the Davis family children started to make home-made badges for our dear father out of empty cornflake boxes, which we made him wear to work, naturally. And they were not descreet, oh no: they were the size of a side plate. How do you think we got those perfect circles? I don’t remember exactly what the one for his 42nd birthday said, but I know that it would not have been kind. The one for his 48th birthday was ‘Today your age is forty eight. You’re losing hair and gaining weight,’ and they were all of a type. On the bright side, I have no grey hair (O.k. I found two, but I pulled them out), I have no more cellulite than I did at 25 and I must be due a mid-life crisis any moment now, which must surely give me more license to misbehave than I have ever had before.