As an antidote from watching Ingar Bergman’s ‘Through A Glass Darkly’ on DVD, we turned to the first episode of The Deep, hyped as a five-part thriller with supernatural overtones. We were not disappointed.
As soon as we saw the flashback sequence featuring the very beautiful Orla Brady, we said, ‘Well that’s her done for. Never mind. The new series of Mistresses starts on Wednesday. She won’t be out of work for long.’
The opening script delightfully sets the scene. Goran Visnjic, laughingly, asks his buddy Jimmy Nesbitt, ‘Now, when would I find time to have an affair?’ Cut to the incredibly young and attractive crew of the submarine, the Orpheus, close up on Minnie Driver. (Actually, there’s one girl we don’t recognise – frankly, we wouldn’t unless she’s been on Dr Who or Top Gear. She is immediately identified as The Next Person To Go.)
Matt is concerned by the so-called science. We are supposed to beleive that there are vents (undersea volcanos) spouting great bursts of boiling water and steam deep below the icecap. ‘There wouldn’t be a bloody icecap if that was the temperature of the steam!’
‘Never mind the icecap! Have you seen the length of Goran Visnjic’s legs. They must have been hidden under his white coat in ER.’
And we weren’t at all impressed with Minnie Driver’s management skills. Not only did she fail to see through the, frankly, evil Tobias Menzies (uncanny resemblance to Christopher Timothy?), decide not to put a call through to the Giant Goran from his wife just as he is about to go out in the death-pod (sorry – the exploration-pod), Lurch, (she’s gone poking around on his PC in search of suspicious emails the minute he’s out of the house – I know women like that), but – in her infinite wisdom – Minnie decides, without warning, to give Jimmy Nesbitt a recording of his wife’s death…Don’t you know he’s supposed to be monitoring the Giant’s progress as he ventures out into ventfield alone???? (It’s like seeing Jeremy Clarkson crammed into a mini). And, I have to say, I think it is highly inappropriate that poor Jimmy is on the mission in the first place, given that his wife died in the very same location. ‘I’ve put everybody’s lives at risk…for you,’ Minnie weeps into the Giant Goran’s shoulder. (Miraculously, he shows no signs of additional brain damage after being denied oxygen for an unfeasibly long period of time and without spending any time at all in a decompression chamber. By the way, have you seen the size of his head?) Yes, you silly bint!
And then, right at the end, the young girl we didn’t recognise cops it at the hands of the evil Tobias Menzies. (It was just as well: she had been getting increasingly hysterical throughout the first episode – never mind that she was right. Someone had to put her out of her misery.)
Episode two, anyone?